Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I’m not sure what it is, but it feels like my existence is missing something… I can’t explain it. I have all of this love to give out, but nothing to give it to. I have desires, passions, excitements, and yet no way to use them. What use is all of this if there is nothing to share them with? I want to be able to give and express myself. I want to experience depth and purpose. What is missing? I must do something about this.

I know I need to create human beings. I know what their soul will be made of and that they will have unique characters and personalities, and I know every detail of their physical body. They will be my beloved children, the ones I have been missing all along! But I must also create a place for them to grow. I think I will use elements of my design for human beings and place them in all of creation. That way my children will see parts of themselves in the world around them as I will see parts of myself in them.

Day 1: Today I experimented with a new concept called time. It’s a way to see progress and development. I realized I needed “time,” to allow for growth and to allow for the progression of understanding and love. For without the possibility of growth everything is stagnant.

Day 2: Today I created physical concepts that are new to me. I spent much time in contemplation as to what this new plane should look like. I finally settled on the color “blue” for the sky, but a different “blue” for the water. I love that one color can have so many shades.

Day 3: Today I had to figure out some way to balance to the amazing sky. I created a new color, “green,” and I spread it all over the land. It is a rich color and transmits the feeling of life when you’re around it. I spent an immeasurable amount of time designing a flower. I couldn’t decide on what color it should be, so I made hundreds of them so that they could be enjoyed forever.

Day 4: I realized that time needed a way to be measured and to have variety and growth. So I created the universe to mark seasons, days, and years. The sun can transform the blue sky into pink, orange and purple at the beginning and end of each day. I love the radiant orange the sun spreads in the morning, and the peaceful pink it turns into in the evening. It’s the perfect way to start and end each day.

Day 5: I have had so much fun creating animals and creatures. What a joy to be able to express different parts of myself in millions of species. Some of them are strong, some of them are fast, some of them are peaceful, but I resonate and love each of them equally. Some of them can fly, some can swim, and some roam the land. They each have their unique ways of living, eating and surviving, and yet they all have a piece of me. How incredible to see yourself represented in so many ways!

Day 6: Today was the greatest day of my existence. After all I have created, I have finally created the most amazing part of this universe. I have created Adam and Eve. They are my greatest masterpiece. While the animals and creation represent me, Adam and Eve are me. I could not be more proud of them. I made this whole world for them and I can’t wait for them to enjoy all that it has to offer. I can’t wait to experience it with them, because without them I am not able to experience this physical plane. Oh I am so happy!

Day 7: I love watching my children grow and learn about the creation. I love getting to know them and learning about their interests and their passions. I love talking with them and playing with them. They are still so young, but every moment of their lives has brought such fulfillment to my existence. I am SO grateful for them. And the best is still yet to come! Still they are just youth and are learning to be children and brothers and sisters, but one day soon they will be married and have children. They will be able to relate with me in a completely new way. Oh I cannot wait!

15 Years Later: I’ve been noticing that Eve is talking to me less and spending more time with Lucifer. I wish she knew how much I cared about her. I don’t want to push her; I want her to make her own decisions. I really just want her to be happy. It hurts me that she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I see her starting to have new feelings for Lucifer even though she knows what great things lie waiting for her in the future with Adam. How can I help her if she is hiding form me? How can I love her if she won’t let me in? I’m waving my arms and screaming and shouting but she doesn’t notice! My heart… These feelings…. They are so painful. I am so overwhelmed.

2 Years Later: My children have cut themselves off from me, and I am nothing. I am broken… When I created the universe I never imagined something like this could happen. I only saw joy, peace and happiness… not this pain, but even that word doesn’t describe it. My heart feels like it has been ripped out of its chest. I cannot contain my agony! I am sobbing uncontrollably… I’ve never felt anything like this. Why would my children want to put themselves through this? Now they are starting a family with pain, shame and judgement. This is not what I wanted for them. I only wanted joy and fulfillment in their lives. I’m trying to help them, trying to bring joy back into their life. But they have changed, they make it so hard to come back into their lives. I must keep trying, I must show them the life that they are meant to have. I promise I will never give up, I swear it!

– God