1. Split your youth into two groups: the “seekers” and the “avoiders.”
  2. Ask all of the “avoiders” to go hide somewhere in the room.
  3. Instruct the “seekers” to enthusiastically look for and call out the names of those who they are looking for. Instruct the “avoiders” to stay away from the seekers at all costs and ignore the seeks attempt to connect with them.
  4. Switch groups and repeat the exercise.
  5. Explain to the group that this exercise demonstrates that a relationship requires two committed people.
  6. Now repeat the exercise except everyone is a “seeker.”
  7. At the end of this round, debrief about how relationships work when people are willing to invest, just like in this version of the activity you were able to connect with people easily and naturally.
  8. Allow time for your youth to reflect on their current relationships. Ask them to think of one person that they have not been seeking out as much as they should.
  9. Ask them to write a letter, draw a picture, write a poem, or something of the sort for that person.


Submitted by Toyomichi Hagiwara and the New York Youth Ministry